For anyone in the candidacy process of the ELCA, at this point you are pretty aware that you have to do something called Clinical Pastoral Education, better known as CPE. If your context has always been a church setting then this concept of CPE may sound pretty foreign. How does running around in a hospital have anything to do with leading Sunday worship or begging the choir director to stop doing solos? At least that’s what I first thought. Turns out CPE is pretty necessary and if you want to be an asset rather than a curse to the church, it’s one of the best experiences you will have during seminary.

I did my CPE internship at Grady Memorial Hospital in Atlanta, Georgia. This location had nearly 1000 beds and served as the Trauma I center of the South. In hindsight I am still trying to figure out how I ended up with this gem of a site considering I had originally planned on working for a hospice center in San Diego, California. God is really with you throughout this process and don’t forget it. My CPE group consisted of 4 other people; Catholic seminarian, two Methodist seminarians from the UMC and CME, and a UCC seminarian. When we weren’t on our designated floors we were in groups talking about our faith journeys, personality types, or different styles of pastoral care. We worked at least 40 hours a week and sometimes close to 60 including our overnight shifts. Some shifts we had close to no calls, other nights we had ten or more. I worked the night of the 4th of July and Grady had 19 Gun shot wound victims alone. Three of my calls that night were to comfort some of these 19 families.

Yes, CPE can be intense. It can place you in situations you did not think would happen. You may have tables thrown at you while a family is in crisis or you may have to sit with three small children as their young mother grieves their father’s suicide. You may also be requested every day to speak with a patient that wants to give glory to God for their life after a tragic lawn mowing accident. CPE teaches you how to listen and how to allow yourself to be a tool in others healing.

I went into this experience nervous and insecure of my own pastoral care skills. After watching my own brother lay in a hospital bed then a casket I was unsure if I could bear pain and sorrow with others. I realized very quickly that I can do this work. Sometimes you just need to face your fears head on. My greatest recommendation to all in this candidacy process is to take the time to think about your growing edges. What do you need to become the pastor or caretaker you are destined to be and how can you access a site that may mold you well? Sometimes we just want to get these things over with not realizing there is truly a purpose to the candidacy madness, and that’s ok too. This ministry though is your craft and the only way to improve that craft is through practice. CPE is practice and in the words of my 8th grade basketball coach, “perfect practice makes perfect” (though there is never a way to be perfect as a pastor #theologyofthecross).

Peace.

Nicolette M. Faison I, MBA
Vicaria, Iglesia San Lucas
@afrolutheran
Currently blogging Internship year (3rd year)

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